Well, we're almost half way through October and I still don't have a start date for the IVF trial. I don't want to keep bugging them by phone, so I sent an email to the coordinator through our patient portal on Monday and as yet am still waiting on a response. To recap I haven't heard anything from them since September 20th when they again confirmed that I am for sure in the study and that they are still waiting to firm up a start date but expect it to be the first or second week of October. Monday marks the start of the third week of October and I haven't heard anything more from them, nor have I had a reply to my email. I am starting to think the trial isn't going to happen. Or that it IS happening, but they decided that my numbers were too "shifty" and they don't want to risk using me. I can't see them going to the expense of running a radio commercial for a trial which wasn't ready to roll, right? I'd like to think that they would have contacted me if I no longer qualified. Ugh. I am so lost in all of this.
I am really struggling right now. My thoughts are getting darker and darker by the day. If this trial doesn't go through we're still a few months away from having enough money saved for our own IVF. And I don't have months to waste.
Lately (more than ever before) it seems I am surrounded by pregnant women. I've been on FB hiatus for the last 3 weeks because I just cannot take it any more. Every other post is an announcement, an ultrasound, little Timmy's birthday party, etc. We can't even go out to eat because I SWEAR every waitress in my small town is pregnant... And now even my usually safe haven of work is being infiltrated by the fertile masses. Working for a Police Department means I deal with more fart jokes, and a lot of testosterone, but I've also kind of been grateful that I don't need to deal with a bunch of pregnancies and baby stories. The last few weeks here have changed too. Every day someone brings in their grandchild, new born, pregnant wife to meet us. And today I found out that one of my co-workers (whom I really, strongly dislike) is pregnant... by her still-married-to-someone-else-fiancée. Really universe? Thanks.