Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Improving Odds

With the second round of CD3 testing concluded, we found ourselves back in Dr. C's lobby waiting for our appointment.  Other patients who arrived later were seen first... we waited some more... Having read other blogs, I know this doesn't make for good news... I had worked a 12 hour night shift, as had Mr. R.  We got home, showered and headed straight to Dr. C... a 1.5 hour drive. I was tired, and starting to freak out... I cried.  My best friend B, in town from South Africa on a visit, tried to console me to no avail.  Dr. C had something bad to tell me, I could feel it.

Finally the nurse ushered us into the waiting room.  Took my weight and BP and complimented me on my weight loss.  She seated us in a consulting room and we waited... and waited... in fact I dozed off and on in my chair.  Finally, growing restless Mr. R checked with the nurse who sent in Dr. C's assistant who explained that the doctor was held over in surgery that had gone longer than expected.  *sigh of relief followed by sadness for that poor woman who, it seemed, may be in a worse place than me right now* I agreed to wait a little longer and fell back asleep.  It was now 1.5 hours beyond our appointment time and 2 hours since our arrival.  Assistant came back in to say that we were welcome to go on home and she would have the doctor Skype us, since we live so far away.  She asked for our phone number and we headed out.

We live in the COUNTRY and have no access to Starbucks so I wanted to stop and get a drink.  (yes, yes, I know caffeine is like the devil when it comes to fertility.  Don't judge me!)  We just pulled into the parking lot when the phone rang, it was Dr. C and he said he had some good news... well, better than last time, but let's be real here, it's not hard to beat that news!


AMH:  0.28
FSH:  10
E2:  23

(I think I am going to pop my test results, as well as what are considered "normal" readings in the side bar for quick reference.  Check there if you want to know how far below "normal" I am).
He was happy about the improvements, surprised to see even that little improvement on the AMH and said it was looking more promising than last time.  He is now willing to give us odds of about 25% but also said that this is based around our possibly not getting any useable eggs.  He has no concerns about my egg quality given my age -- if you've read any blogs or forums you will know, like I do, that your physical age means nothing when it comes to egg quality! -- but he is more concerned about how many we might get, and how many will fertilize so he is being conservative with that figure.  However, if we get 2-3 decent eggs fertilized for transfer, he is comfortable giving us back the 60% odds of conception.  WOOHOO!!

"There is some bad news though..." *deep breath in* "... I am concerned about how much time has passed and given your numbers I want to stress to you that you do not have time to waste here.  The estimates I have given you are based on taking action by Aug/Sep at the latest.  How far are you with finances?  Have you spoken with our finance department?  There are excellent IVF lending programs out there."

Oh, the finances... They've bothered me from day 1. Honestly, for a person who is not at all concerned with the trappings of wealth, finances sure do trip me up a lot!  We've both gone through divorces recently enough that our credit is still ruined.  We both endured foreclosures on our homes and were left with sky-high credit card debt.  Being the "leaver" comes at a high cost it seems! No bank in their right mind would loan us a penny right now.  No,  if this was going to happen it was going to be from the sweat of our brows and the kindness of family donations.

We sat for a moment and let the conversation sink in.  Mr. R knows me well enough to know that I can be a tenacious b*tch when I have to be.  He has witnessed it all through my weight loss.  If I have a goal I immerse myself in it.  I research it.  I live it. I breathe it like air.  He knew in that moment that I now had a goal, a cut-off date.  And I think he knew right there that the next 60-90 days were going to be hell for him.


  1. "Freija"

    I have a feeling you are one of the people who read and were talking to me on my blog! :-) I am SO happy to see you started your own and I have to say I'm already hooked. I just spent the last half hour reading and didn't realize I had reached the last page so I was tapping the screen like, "next page, damn it!" Ahhh I wanna keep reading!

    Wishing you all the luck in the world! Keep on writing and fighting, girl! <3

    1. Erg.. I am such a N00B my reply is below... :/

  2. OMG! *blush!* Yeah, that would be me.. haha I was inspired to write the other day and split it all up into a couple of posts. In one of them coming up I go all "fan girl" and gush about your blog (with appropriate linkage of course). SUPER embarrassing now I know you'll see it! haha But honestly, I have learned more from you in the few hours I spent on your blog than I did in countless hours spent on Google. It's an AMAZING resource -- and LOOK WHAT YOU DID!! TWINS!!!

    1. Talk about blushing! Wow! I am really honored you think so highly of my blog. More importantly, it means the world to me that it was a good resource for you. That's exactly what I wanted from it so that others going through this wouldn't feel so alone. It IS truly a shame there isn't much in the way of solid (or comforting for that matter!) info on POF out there so I am really glad I could help. And look... now you are putting yourself out there too, which I think will only propel you to even more positivity and ultimately reaching your goal! I can't wait to read more!! And I will definitely be paying homage to your blog in my next post! ;-) <3