Sunday, February 23, 2014

We Trigger on Monday

What a week it has been! As you know, we started with 12 follies.  Well after a week of stims, we are down to 3 over 10mm in size, and they upped my Gonal F dosage from 225 iu to 450 iu on Friday.  I went in this morning for a follow up and the three have increased from 11mm (the largest) went to 20mm.  The other two are now 14mm and 15 mm respectively.  I have given up hope that another friend may join us at the party.  It looks like we're going to just have these three, and I am at peace with that.

I am on another shot of 450iu Gonal F tonight, and then tomorrow morning I go in for my last blood draw and date with the dildo cam.  We will most likely trigger tomorrow night and retrieval is going to be on Wednesday transfer on Saturday. 

Mr. R has started looking at YouTube videos of the TESE procedure and he is not looking forward to this at all!  I feel bad for him, but I am excited to see that it is possible to collect and save multiple vials of sperm for future attempts. I didn't realize that was possible, but after seeing how extensive this procedure is I am glad that it's an option.

I still can't quite get my head around the thought that this is it.  I am IN an IVF cycle... This week there will exist on this planet little beings that are made of half me and half Mr. R.  They may not live long, they may not make it to birth... but for a short while they will be here on this earth with us.

I am wrestling with positivity... I want so much to believe that this is it.  I have a strong, VERY strong feeling that this is not the end for us... that this is just a step on the road. 

My forum February cycle group are dropping BFPs like it's going out of fashion.  Only one BFN.  The last two are me and one other lady.  She had her transfer today.  Then it's my turn.  What if our luck has run out?? ARGH!!

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