I just paid the deposit. We're heading to Prague this September for DE IVF.
We finally saved up enough to make it happen - after several big financial hits slowed our progress. Well truthfully it wasn't just the financial side, I needed to take some time to mourn the whole genetic thing, and open my heart to the donor option. But we're here at last.
It has taken months of reviewing donors trying to find the perfect match, (see above note about mourning the genetic thing) I was just not ready to let go yet. Turns out there aren't very many 6ft tall curly red-heads with blood type O just walking around Prague. We actually were matched with an ideal fit last year, but I couldn't pull the trigger... This time we're ready, mentally and financially!
Today, our almost exactly ideal donor walked into the clinic to register and my coordinator snapped her up for me. It's weird looking at stats on a piece of paper and knowing that this person whom you know so precious little about, is going to give you this incredible gift.
Here's what I know about her:
She's 33, red hair, blue eyes and fair skin. She is O+. Her hair is wavy, but I think the clinic kinda crossed the rules a wee bit when they told me that she has curly hair in her immediate family. She is shorter than ideal - I preferred over 5'7 because I am so tall, and the donor is 5'6" but as I said, I have let go of the idea of finding an exact twin match and I am happy with a mild resemblance so the older family folks don't get too suspicious. And then for hobbies she is a baker, who enjoys dancing, theater, biking and music and (this part too) "spending time with her daughter". I don't think they're supposed to say if the donor has children or not.
It makes me feel good that she's not super young and that she already had a child when she made the decision to donate. I feel like she is in a good position to know what she's doing here and not making a decision she will later regret -- also, did you know that the donors in Czech republic are not paid? They receive no compensation outside of their expenses for participating. Which of course makes her even more of an angel!
We're still torn over the tell/don't tell thing. I am strongly in the "Tell" camp, while hubs is in the "don't tell" camp and he's not budging. We've decided to reevaluate things when our potential progeny are older and decide then if it's something that would enhance their lives, or cause them distress. (Secretly I've compiled a list of baby books on donor IVF describing the wonderful stranger who gave mommy a precious gift). Ideally I'd like to introduce this concept very early on but we're totally going to play it by ear.
As far as family, we're not telling anyone until we decide what to do with our potential child. Two people outside of hubs and I know. 1) My best friend, 2) my fertility coach. We're going to keep it that way for now.
So now we've paid the deposit, I guess I had better get moving, shake some of this pity weight, get back on the pre-natals and gluten-free, dairy-free, fun free diet. I'm also going to be including some fertility yoga because I need to combat some of the stress I am dealing with at work and I will feel better having a limber, peaceful body ready to receive.
We're tentatively looking at second half of September, first half of October as that is the ideal time for the hubs to get time away from work. Unfortunately until our medication arrives from Prague there's no scheduling an exact date. My local RE has made it clear that he isn't keen on actively participating in this, though I did get them to agree to a CD 10 lining check. My local OB has been stripped of his license following several lawsuits and I am only meeting my new OB in two weeks, so I don't want to wait to see if she will prescribe me the meds required. We're going to throw caution to the wind and have them shipped to us and pray to all that is holy that they don't get stuck in customs somewhere! They're pills not shots, but you never know.
So now for the next hurdle... keeping a positive frame of mind, without being too positive. 70% success rate is a hell of a lot better than the less than 5% I had previously, but there's still a 30% chance that something will go wrong.
Oh, I should add that, since we're not getting any younger, we're going to go for broke and transfer 2 embryos if we have them. How does that affect the odds I wonder? Surely that improves them somewhat. I'd like to think that with