Monday, June 10, 2013

Losing It

What you don't yet know about me is that I have always been pretty chunky - "corn fed" as Mr. R likes to call me.  6ft tall and at this point in my journey weighing 235lbs (already down 40lbs in weight lost just prior to making the decision to divorce).  I felt good, but I could feel the weight creeping back up again.  In my new found happiness I had grown complacent - still continuing some of the healthy eating habits picked up from my first battle, but slipping up more and more as time went on.  I was happy, had a man who loved me, why worry about weight?

At my highest weight I was diagnosed with diabetes and high cholesterol - the concentration was so high that they couldn't get an accurate reading.  40lbs later, improved eating habits, and regular exercise left me back within perfectly healthy range in just 6 months!  My doctor was impressed and asked me for a detailed report of what I had done.  I was proud.  If I think about it, this pride in my personal accomplishment may be what gave me the confidence to file for that long needed divorce.  I guess we hear about that all the time, lose the weight and leave his sorry ass... A country song waiting to happen! haha

At 235lbs the doctor was not concerned about my weight, he only briefly touched on it that awful day - but then he DID have many more concerning things to discuss, so who can blame him?  We were going to need $15,000 to start the IVF process.  Having just moved across the state, Mr. R was still job hunting, and I was making just enough to cover my bills.  We were going to need a few months to get settled, and beef up the savings.  A plan was hatched:  combining our two households had left us with an overabundance of duplicate items.  Items we no longer wanted.  And items that had less than happy memories attached to them.  Additionally, while wearing a size 14-16 I still lugged with me my size 22 wardrobe.  We planned a super yard sale as a fund raising effort.  I also decided to start back on the weight loss program just to further improve our chances and to feel like I was physically DOING something to help us reach our goal.  I took on private clients doing administrative work online as a side business and the savings account began... slow, but steady.  We knew we were going to need time to get things right.  First step, Mr. R needed a job!

Months passed.  Weight was lost - now 198lbs.  Our home grew less and less cluttered as we sold items off. Mr. R was working, but not in his chosen career.  Instead he had found a lower paying job to fill his time and bring in a little something until the right job could be found.  Towards the end of April with $3,000 banked in the "Baby Fund" I had a panicked thought that I was wasting time.  I contacted Dr. C and had them send me more test requisitions.  I had more labs done. We scheduled to meet Dr. C for the updated results.  Oh dear God, please tell me I haven't waited too long!!

1 comment:

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