We met with Dr. C, excited to get this show on the road. Not nervous at all about the findings. Remember, I was so sure that the problem did not lie with me. And Mr. R already has 2 kids, so he won't have a problem. We're going to drive the 1.5 hours, sit in a chair, have the good doctor pronounce us perfect and schedule.
"I am glad that you are BOTH here. I have some bad news..." I don't think I breathed as he spoke further, "From the genetics side, you show to be a carrier of Andermann Syndrome. Mr. R you are NOT a carrier, so that isn't going to be an issue. I would warn brothers and sisters to test for this before getting pregnant." *deep breath in* "No worries there then, but R tests show that you have a genetic mutation called methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase." *WAIT! What??* "It's more commonly referred to as MTHFR but luckily the kind you have is easily treated with increased folic acid." *Deep breath out*
"I wouldn't worry about this at all. So that's the genetic side done. Now here comes the serious stuff..." *Deep breath in* "Law requires us to complete a disease panel before continuing with IVF. Unfortunately, we were unable to test Mr. R because of his insurance, but I would now suggest that you have him tested because R your results came back showing that you have both Chlamidia and Syphilis..." "I HAVE WHAT?!?!" "The levels show that you've had the Syphilis for a very short while, you've picked it up in the last 3 months." *GLARE at Mr. R* "Now, the Chlamidia you've had for a while. A year or more. But that is easily treated with one simple pill. I'll write you both a script today." Mr. R glares back at me, and I start to cry, then sob uncontrollably... HOW did this happen? I've been in an almost sexless marriage for 6 years..." *lightbulb* "That cheating b@stard!!" "Of course, as I am sure you know we will have to report this result to the CDC. They'll be in touch to follow up with you. You're going to need to contact any partners you've had in the last 10 years. I'll prepare a referral to an Infectious Diseases Doctor for you too." "Oh you BET I WILL!"
"Okay, so that was rough I know. But I have more sad news." *my head is going to explode* "We did a hormonal screening. The results are pretty dismal. Would you like to take a minute, get a glass of water before we continue?" "Ab-so-lute-ly NOT! Go ahead." *thinking this is all irrelevant because there's no way I am going to have a child with the man who gave me Syphilis* "Your AMH level is low enough that we suspect you're deeply premenopausal. The elevated FSH level backs this theory up, and your estrogen level is lower than we'd like it to be."
"What this means is that you're almost out of eggs and out of time I am afraid. With this AND your endometriosis you need to get moving. I suggest taking care of the infections and getting back to me as soon as possible. At this point I'd say you have about a 15% chance at success with your own eggs."
I literally at this point jumped out of my chair and started heading for the door, tears streaming down my face. After fumbling with my debit card and waiting for the nurse to get off that infernal phone I left the card with Mr. R to take care of the co-pay and kept on walking. When he met me at the car I collapsed in a fit of hysteria. Mr. R coaxed me into my seat and tore off in the direction of the nearest pharmacy to fill the script so we could take care of the first issue. Z-Paks in, we headed for home, me bawling down the phone line to my mother in Canada. I didn't want to approach the topic with Mr. R. I no longer trusted him - or any man for that matter!
Once home we spoke for I think the first time. We talked it over, went over dates, looked everything up online -- AWFUL, AWFUL information that scared the hell out of me! The Chlamidia is possible, my ex was never interested in sex, so maybe he had something on the side. But the Syphilis? Mr. R had me convinced that it was impossible that it came from him, and I KNEW it wasn't from me." I made the appointment with the Infectious Disease doctor. Mr. R went for blood tests. I went for a second round of blood tests. I spoke with the CDC and gave them contact information for my partners in the last 10 years... Mr. R received his phone call from CDC and a week flew by.
Our infectious diseases doctor, Dr. R. (Lot's of Rs to track here right?) read the results off to me... "Mr. R you show no signs of exposure to either Chlamidia or Syphilis." *uh-oh gulp!* "R, you ALSO show no signs of exposure to either Chlamidia or Syphilis" HOLY CRAP! What?? "Now this could be a faulty reading, so we're going to need to retest to be sure and to satisfy the CDC, but as far as I am concerned this was a lab error." I cried like a baby. I cried as I paid the happiest co-pay of my life. I almost floated all the way to the lab (You're surprised? Tell me you wouldn't have made the lab your first stop after leaving that office?)
Another week passes and we receive a call from Dr. R, "Yep, still no signs of anything. I am prepared to clear you. I'll inform the CDC." I literally hung up and the CDC were already calling to hear my results. With everyone satisfied that I was not a walking cesspool of STDs, and the clearance notice being sent to Dr. C so that we could resume IVF planning we went out to eat dinner and celebrate. I mean, what does one do when they find out that they don't have Chlamidia or Syphilis, right? (Do you know, my skin still crawls every time I say, or write those words. In the weeks of waiting and testing they were forbidden in my house. We called them #1 and #2).
So there we were... disease free, genetically sound, and almost out of eggs. It was time to move this forward.